Making friends

1. Meeting people

  • There are many opportunities to meet people at uni.
  • You can meet people at lecturers, practicals, libraries as well social events like parties, balls, the caf, playing sport, etc.

2. Exchanging names

  • What about turning to your neighbours and exchange names.
  • By taking the risk of saying hello, you will appear to be a friendly, confident person.

3. Talking to them/what do you say after you say hello?

    It is often easier to start a conversation in a class situation than in a social context. Comments can be related to shared Uni experiences such as:
  • Interesting / boring lecture
  • How hard it is to get out of bed to get to Uni on time
  • Thank God it’s the last class before lunch! (do you want to grab some lunch?)
  • At a party, you can begin to talk about the venue, music, etc
  • Whatever you say, tell people that it was good meeting them.

4. Meeting them again

  • In order to make friends you have to meet them again. Catch up with people for a coffee, lunch, or go and see a film together.
  • You have to make an effort to see people again because the university campus is spread out. You cannot rely on meeting somebody by sheer chance.
  • When you meet someone again, try and remember what you last talked about and ask some follow up questions that demonstrate that you do remember them. Eg. “did you get your essay done?”, “did you enjoy your weekend away?”.
  • Don’t be afraid to say that you have forgotten their name. (they are probably desperately trying to remember yours, too!)
  • When choosing subjects for the year, try and choose ones from a small department as it is easier to make friends in a smaller group rather than a larger group.
  • Join at least one club, society or group at Uni.
  • Go along to a club / society function, offer to help out at the function.
  • Once you start doing things with others, you are on your way to developing friendships.

5. Getting to know them

  • Getting to know someone hopefully leads to liking them and becoming their friend.
  • It involves meeting them and talking to them many times.
  • It takes time to get to know someone and it takes time to make friends.

6. Becoming friends

  • “Becoming friends” is the last stage of the whole process.
  • Don’t be disappointed if you feel that you are not making friends as quickly as you would like; so long as you’re making the effort, friendships are going to develop.
  • If you are feeling lonely or you have the blues, air these feelings with someone who can help you put these feelings in perspective.

If you'd like more support, come along to one of our workshops or make an appointment for individual counselling.

Explore student workshops

Make a counselling appointment